First things first, let me apologize for not giving you a blog for close to 2 months now. The truth of the matter is I haven’t had a lot to say that wasn’t said in the previous blog. I’ve just been working my ass off in mundane behind the scenes bullshit that if I had a million bucks I’d hire an assistant to handle. But seeing that I can barely rub two nickels together (or so It seems) I have to do the grunt work by myself. And it’s been a lot of grunt work since the last time we spoke. I won’t bore you with the details of everything I’ve had to do, but suffice it to say it’s been a lot. So I apologize for not writing in the blog as is my custom to do on a semi-frequent basis.
But the good news in all this is you know when you hear from me it’s bound to be good and juicy. And good and juicy is what I have in store for you this time around. Or at least it’ll be juicy. Maybe. Here’s hoping.
This blog is all about bad reviews and what to do with them. Now the knee jerk reaction to a bad review would be to scream at the top of your lungs, “FUCK YOU! YOU WOULDN’T KNOW GOOD MUSIC IF IT BENT YOU OVER A CHAIR AND STUCK IT IN SMOOTHLY!” and then go about your day. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen for me.
Here’s the problem family. As most of you know, from the time I first stepped foot in my producer’s studio to the release of “Introducing… ME” was six - count them, SIX - years. I’ve gone into the whys of all that in previous blogs and won’t rehash most of it here. But suffice it to say I’ve poured every once of energy, blood, sweat, tears and prayer into this project. And I am going on record as saying I am VERY proud of what I accomplished. Most people would have thrown in the towel by now. But not me. I just kept plugging away until I was able to put “Introducing… ME” out there for you. Imagine being in labor for 18 hours. Now multiply that by six years and you’ve pretty much got “Introducing… ME”. I’m very proud I was able to finally push that watermelon headed CD out of my, well, “imaginary cooch”.
Not only that, but I’m also very proud of the end product. Until my dying day I will never fear to put “Introducing… ME” in the same league as any other Top 40 dance-pop CD out there today. I put it all out on the page in the lyrics of songs like “I Feel Like Dancin’”, “ANIMAL”, “Through the Looking Glass” and “The One Thing I Can Do.” My heart and soul is in every song I wrote for this CD. I left nothing behind. Coupled with the producing skills of my cracker jack partner in crime, Guy Prier, “Introducing… ME” is a great CD. And because I think it’s fantastic, so should everyone else.
Not so much.
Here’s the deal. “Introducing… ME” has gotten mixed reviews at best. Some love it. Some hate it. Some don’t know what to do with it. Others just mention it in passing. Most haven’t mentioned it at all. (As an aside, I wonder what’s worse: getting a harsh review or being completely ignored. Maybe you other musicians can chime in on that little quandary.) But I guess when you’ve poured so much of yourself into a project, to hear other people not being on board as much as you it takes you aback.
I remember the first bad review I got. I had my day of work on this CD all planned out. I had made a list of items to do and was determined to complete them all. Earlier in the week I had sent out a follow-up e-mail to a bunch of different newspapers and magazines asking them if they had received my CD and what they thought. Well, I got an answer from one that particular morning that went something like this:
Hey Stephen,
Here’s the link (web only):
Thanks.
“Great!” I thought. “My very first review! YAY!” So I clicked on the link, scrolled down to the “web-only section” and found this:Stephen Dillard-Carroll Introducing…Me If you’re looking for dynamic CD-cover artwork, Carroll is your man; he looks damn good encased in mud, reclining on a woodland floor. Otherwise, this self-produced dance pop debut is thoroughly skipable. Oyos Records (stephendc.com). —Review: Nancy Ford
Ouch.But to her credit, at least she enjoyed the CD art.
I gotta tell you family, that took the wind right out of my sails. And when I say the wind was taken out of my sails, I must’ve stared at my computer screen in awe for what felt like forever. I was completely stuck to one place and couldn’t avert my eyes from the torture of those two words: “thoroughly skipable”.
I finally found my voice after what seemed like an eternity. And it shook the house. “THOROUGHLY SKIPPABLE?!?!?!?!?!” I screamed. “THOROUGHLY FUCKING SKIPPABLE?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE MEAN THOROUGHLY FUCKING SKIPPABLE?!?!?!?!?!?!” I wanted to grab my laptop and throw it across the room, I was so enraged.
But as I grabbed my laptop and held it over my head looking for a target on the far wall I thought, “Hey, at least she liked the pictures.” And I laughed a little bit at the irony of it all. “Well if this music thing doesn’t pan out, I guess I can work it like Naomi.”
That being said, it still ripped all the energy out of me that day. I got nothing done. I couldn’t believe something I had put so much positive energy into could be so easily and quickly “skipped” by someone else. “Par for the course” never came to mind that day. “Reviews are always subjective” never crossed my cranium. “Only the good die young.” Check.
That evening one of my good friends Emmah asked me what I’d been up to all day. When I told her nothing and she asked why I told her “because I got my first review today.” Of course she wanted to hear it. So I pulled it up again and read it and almost burst into tears. To her credit, without batting an eyelash Emmah looked me straight in the eye and said:
“Maybe she meant you can skip down the street to it.”
I burst out laughing. And by laughing I mean doubled over laughter. Tears in the eyes kind of laughter. Stomach hurting you can barely breathe kind of laughter. When I finally calmed down enough to speak I said, “That is why I love you so much, Emmah!” And it’s true.
And the hits keep coming. As I’ve said before, the reviews for “Introducing… ME” have been mixed. So mixed in fact that I’ve actually stopped reading them. Because I never know when I click a link whether the reviewer is gonna love it or say I sound like William Hung. (That’s NOT an exaggeration. A reviewer actually said that about me. Harsh.)
The point to all of this is you’ll never convince me in a million years that artists who truly care about their product, when they find other people don’t feel the same way or even worse rip what they’ve created to shreds it doesn’t hurt. And there is no book I’ve found on the business of music that tells you how to deal with negative reviews. There is no 12 step program to let you get over the day a reviewer invites two of his co-workers in to pile on the negativity. (Another true story.) There is nothing out there that will tell you how to deal with the fact that not EVERYBODY is gonna love your music.
And quite honestly family, I don’t have any fool-proof method either.
But I will tell you that on the days I am brave enough to open a review and it’s not so kind I’m no longer paralyzed for the rest of the day. It still stings and it still like a punch to the jaw. But it’s no longer a kick in the nuts or a punch to the gut. As I’ve said, by and large I don’t read reviews of my work anymore because I never know what’s waiting for me on the other side of the link. This is one of those times where “ignorance truly is bliss”. Most days I’d rather not know if a review is negative or positive. I’m just happy somebody’s talking about it.
Does that make me cowardly? No. And here’s the reason why. I learned a long time ago that if you do your best in whatever it is you do, that’s all anybody can ask of you. Truth be told, I could be the second coming of Jesus Christ (or The Beatles) and there still would be people out there who look like they just got through sucking on a lemon. It’s par for the course and something as an artist I absolutely must learn to deal with or I’m in the wrong business.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I'm going to stick my head in the oven. Just kidding. Maybe.
Peace.
-Stephen
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