Hello Family!
It's been over a year since I've updated my blog. And what a year of surprises it's been! We're not going to get into "the year that was" today, but just know the roller coaster that called life was especially up down and round and round! But it's a new year now and time for bigger and better things.
Firstly, I want to thank each and every one of you for supporting my first CD project. You kept me going time and again when I wanted to throw in the towel and get a *shudder* "day job" *shudder*. You encouraged me to fight the good fight. And for that I am eternally grateful.
After the year that has been I've come to the difficult decision "Introducing... ME" has run its course. It's sold all it's going to sell through my efforts and yours. Strangely I'm not at all sad about it. Do I wish it had sold more? Of course. Do I wish I could have toured on the strength of the single, "I Feel Like Dancin'"? Absolutely. But life had other plans for me this past year. Had I been touring around the world I would have had to cancel everything when my mother had a heart attack. (She's fine now. For those of you who knew, thanks for your prayers and constant "checking in" with me. I love you for it.) Then I'd have to go through the difficult process of re-scheduling tour dates with bar and club owners who were pissed I bailed on them because I had to take care of my mother. And then with all the time away, the crowds I would have been able to pull in at one time may not have been there for "THE RETURN". And of course because I'm a DIY'er to the very end, I'd have the huge task of doing it all on my own.
But you know what? I'm not sad about it. Disappointed, yes. But certainly not sad. I learned so much about myself and what I can do. I learned more about this business of music than any book could ever have taught me. And I will take those lessons with me when I start on my next project. But for now, it's time to move on.
And move on I have. Back in August 2010 when I was still pushing my CD uphill I decided to take a little break and take an acting class. I hadn't been onstage to act since I ended my college career. I was too focused on singing onstage to do any acting. But I saw there was an acting class going on here in town. I thought, "What the hell. I'll give it a shot. The least it will do is give me more onstage chops than I had before."
Family, I'd forgotten how much I enjoy acting. I'd done it all though high school and college, but because music was my main focus I'd always thought of acting as a diversion. A fun diversion mind you, but a diversion nonetheless. That being said, because I enjoyed acting I had in the back of my mind for years that when my music career really took off I'd dip my toes back into the acting game. Now that my mother has finally recovered and I've laid "Introducing... ME" to bed I've decided to pursue acting and see where that leads. Music will ALWAYS be my first love. In fact as I write this I can't help but think how much I already miss it. And I am convinced this isn't the last musical endeavor I'll pursue. But for now I'm acting. And I'm LOVING IT!!!
To that end, I've been auditioning my behind off. And I've landed my first role. I am acting in the Carpenter Square Theater production of "Good 'N Plenty". All but one of the actors have dual roles in the play. I play Ronald Bridges/Tyrell Mayberry. "Good 'N Plenty" is a comedy about a high school teacher that constructs a game based upon the principles of democracy and how those principles are played out in everyday life. How does he do it? A drug game. What could go wrong when you have high school students and real drugs? PLENTY. Wacky hi-jinks, of course, ensue.
If you are in the Oklahoma City area do yourself a favor and come see this play. Not just because I'm in it - that's a bonus - but because the acting is truly top notch and the production is amazing. And it's funny as hell. For tickets, go to: http://www.carpentersquare.com/tickets_online.htm or you can call the box office at (405) 232-6500. "Good 'N Plenty" runs 'til February 5th. And drop me a note when you come so after the show I'll stick around to say hello.
I want to thank each and every one of you for consistently being in my corner. Through good and bad you've stuck by me. I hope you'll continue to stick by me in this new endeavor. As I've said, music will always be my first love. Therefore it aint gone, it's just taking a break.
I'll see you at the theater!
-Stephen
1.20.2011
12.18.2009
Zen And The Musician
Hello Family!
This blog will be a little different than the other blog postings, and here's the reason why. I'm going to talk about spirituality. One of my goals in this musical endeavor is to ALWAYS separate my spiritual life from my professional life. Meaning, no one likes to be preached to regardless of their spiritual philosophy. My spiritual life is my own and one I am deeply committed to. At the same time, I realize my spiritual path is certainly not the path others would choose. And I'm okay with that. It is what it is and I wouldn't want it any other way.
But something happened the other day that got me to thinking about my CD and so-called music career and how my spirituality continues to evolve around it. And because what happened to me happens all the time in the industry, I thought I would share.
A couple days ago I had planned to send out a huge mailing to DJs and clubs around the country. Of course all this costs postage money and I had budgeted for about 150 packages to be sent out. I was pumped up and excited about the outcome of FINALLY having "I Feel Like Dancin'" played in clubs.
To make doubly sure, on the blessed day I sat down at my computer and checked my bank balance. Without divulging how much money was actually there, let's just say when I saw the available balance, crickets started chirping. Echoes were heard. Moths were seen packing their bags for greener pastures, leaving tracks in the accumulated dust as they made their exit. Homeless people were leaving me spare change. "Hope this helps." said one as he left a few pennies on the table shaking his head in pity.
Yes family, the cupboard was threadbare. I couldn't believe it. Much like St. Nick, I'd made the list of withdrawls and checked it twice. I was certain I had enough money to do what needed to be done. So there I am, checking the list of deposits and withdrawls once again, sweat pouring from every crevice imaginable. And as I'm checking I'm saying, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that." and "Oh that's right. I did purchase that." and "Crap." So I sat there, head in hands, thinking "Now what?"
Not for nothing, this wasn't the first thing of the day not to go particularly my way. It seemed as if the Universe was saying, "Yeah we know you're wanting to go left, but you know what? We want you to go right. But we want you to do it crawling in agony and maybe if we're feeling especially cruel we'll crack a few teeth as well." So all in all it was a no good, really bad day.
The next morning I woke up not knowing what the plans were for the day. And as I'm laying in bed playing with my cats a thought came to mind that went something like this: "Let go of expectations." "Well that's weird," I thought. "How do I let go of expectations when it's all about expectations." And it's true. No matter what business endeavor one goes into, the hoped for outcome is phenomenal success.
And that, family, is the key. There is a BIG difference between "hoping for" something and "expecting" something. There's absolutely nothing wrong with "hoping for the best". In fact, it's probably wise if one hopes for the best in all things not just business endeavors. But to "expect" something is to take faith completely out of the equation. And that's just not wise.
Bringing it back to this music project, the truth of the matter is I don't know if this CD will sell a billion copies or if I will never sell enough to make a profitable living. This is where zen comes into play. It is so important for us as artists to let go of expectations. Why? Because life throws us curve balls. Life never goes as planned. Life has its own plans and we must go along for the ride.
And that, family, is why it's all about the Zen. To be completely "in the moment" with "no expectations" we as artists must "go with the flow".
But wait a minute, Stephen! If we're just going along for the ride and being in the moment and going with the flow, how the hell are we supposed to plan anything? I mean as we all know the music business for the indie musician is 90% behind the scenes work and 10% actual performance. So if we're just "going with the flow" how the hell is anything going to get done?
Well there's nothing wrong with planning. As I've said before, the better the plan the better the execution and outcome (usually). But the difference between "expecting" it and "hoping" it (and where faith comes into play) is with expectations there is no room for faith. But with hoping, you can plan and rehearse and execute and still "go with the flow" and be "in the moment" without any expectations for outcomes.
I completely understand I'm walking a fine line here, family. But there is a freedom in letting go of expectations. Because what if what we expect never materializes? Then we are stuck with on one end the disappointment of what we expect never happening and at the opposite extreme the depression that comes from quote unquote "failure".
We should always remember that life is an adventure that should be relished in that it NEVER goes in a straight line from Point A to Point B. Living in the moment, knowing that the next moment more than likely will be nothing like this moment should give us an excitement of "Oooh! I wonder what happens next!" Rather than, "I know exactly what's happening next because it's the exact same thing that's happening right now."
And I for one, would much rather live a life in the former rather than the latter.
At least I would today. Ask me tomorrow and my response may be completely different.
Oooh! That's Zen, baby!
Peace.
-Stephen
http://stephendc.com/
hello@stephendc.com
http://www.myspace.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.facebook.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.twitter.com/randomcrazyshit
http://www.tagged.com/stephendillardcarroll
This blog will be a little different than the other blog postings, and here's the reason why. I'm going to talk about spirituality. One of my goals in this musical endeavor is to ALWAYS separate my spiritual life from my professional life. Meaning, no one likes to be preached to regardless of their spiritual philosophy. My spiritual life is my own and one I am deeply committed to. At the same time, I realize my spiritual path is certainly not the path others would choose. And I'm okay with that. It is what it is and I wouldn't want it any other way.
But something happened the other day that got me to thinking about my CD and so-called music career and how my spirituality continues to evolve around it. And because what happened to me happens all the time in the industry, I thought I would share.
A couple days ago I had planned to send out a huge mailing to DJs and clubs around the country. Of course all this costs postage money and I had budgeted for about 150 packages to be sent out. I was pumped up and excited about the outcome of FINALLY having "I Feel Like Dancin'" played in clubs.
To make doubly sure, on the blessed day I sat down at my computer and checked my bank balance. Without divulging how much money was actually there, let's just say when I saw the available balance, crickets started chirping. Echoes were heard. Moths were seen packing their bags for greener pastures, leaving tracks in the accumulated dust as they made their exit. Homeless people were leaving me spare change. "Hope this helps." said one as he left a few pennies on the table shaking his head in pity.
Yes family, the cupboard was threadbare. I couldn't believe it. Much like St. Nick, I'd made the list of withdrawls and checked it twice. I was certain I had enough money to do what needed to be done. So there I am, checking the list of deposits and withdrawls once again, sweat pouring from every crevice imaginable. And as I'm checking I'm saying, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that." and "Oh that's right. I did purchase that." and "Crap." So I sat there, head in hands, thinking "Now what?"
Not for nothing, this wasn't the first thing of the day not to go particularly my way. It seemed as if the Universe was saying, "Yeah we know you're wanting to go left, but you know what? We want you to go right. But we want you to do it crawling in agony and maybe if we're feeling especially cruel we'll crack a few teeth as well." So all in all it was a no good, really bad day.
The next morning I woke up not knowing what the plans were for the day. And as I'm laying in bed playing with my cats a thought came to mind that went something like this: "Let go of expectations." "Well that's weird," I thought. "How do I let go of expectations when it's all about expectations." And it's true. No matter what business endeavor one goes into, the hoped for outcome is phenomenal success.
And that, family, is the key. There is a BIG difference between "hoping for" something and "expecting" something. There's absolutely nothing wrong with "hoping for the best". In fact, it's probably wise if one hopes for the best in all things not just business endeavors. But to "expect" something is to take faith completely out of the equation. And that's just not wise.
Bringing it back to this music project, the truth of the matter is I don't know if this CD will sell a billion copies or if I will never sell enough to make a profitable living. This is where zen comes into play. It is so important for us as artists to let go of expectations. Why? Because life throws us curve balls. Life never goes as planned. Life has its own plans and we must go along for the ride.
And that, family, is why it's all about the Zen. To be completely "in the moment" with "no expectations" we as artists must "go with the flow".
But wait a minute, Stephen! If we're just going along for the ride and being in the moment and going with the flow, how the hell are we supposed to plan anything? I mean as we all know the music business for the indie musician is 90% behind the scenes work and 10% actual performance. So if we're just "going with the flow" how the hell is anything going to get done?
Well there's nothing wrong with planning. As I've said before, the better the plan the better the execution and outcome (usually). But the difference between "expecting" it and "hoping" it (and where faith comes into play) is with expectations there is no room for faith. But with hoping, you can plan and rehearse and execute and still "go with the flow" and be "in the moment" without any expectations for outcomes.
I completely understand I'm walking a fine line here, family. But there is a freedom in letting go of expectations. Because what if what we expect never materializes? Then we are stuck with on one end the disappointment of what we expect never happening and at the opposite extreme the depression that comes from quote unquote "failure".
We should always remember that life is an adventure that should be relished in that it NEVER goes in a straight line from Point A to Point B. Living in the moment, knowing that the next moment more than likely will be nothing like this moment should give us an excitement of "Oooh! I wonder what happens next!" Rather than, "I know exactly what's happening next because it's the exact same thing that's happening right now."
And I for one, would much rather live a life in the former rather than the latter.
At least I would today. Ask me tomorrow and my response may be completely different.
Oooh! That's Zen, baby!
Peace.
-Stephen
http://stephendc.com/
hello@stephendc.com
http://www.myspace.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.facebook.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.twitter.com/randomcrazyshit
http://www.tagged.com/stephendillardcarroll
11.03.2009
Ouch!
Hello Family!
First things first, let me apologize for not giving you a blog for close to 2 months now. The truth of the matter is I haven’t had a lot to say that wasn’t said in the previous blog. I’ve just been working my ass off in mundane behind the scenes bullshit that if I had a million bucks I’d hire an assistant to handle. But seeing that I can barely rub two nickels together (or so It seems) I have to do the grunt work by myself. And it’s been a lot of grunt work since the last time we spoke. I won’t bore you with the details of everything I’ve had to do, but suffice it to say it’s been a lot. So I apologize for not writing in the blog as is my custom to do on a semi-frequent basis.
But the good news in all this is you know when you hear from me it’s bound to be good and juicy. And good and juicy is what I have in store for you this time around. Or at least it’ll be juicy. Maybe. Here’s hoping.
This blog is all about bad reviews and what to do with them. Now the knee jerk reaction to a bad review would be to scream at the top of your lungs, “FUCK YOU! YOU WOULDN’T KNOW GOOD MUSIC IF IT BENT YOU OVER A CHAIR AND STUCK IT IN SMOOTHLY!” and then go about your day. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen for me.
Here’s the problem family. As most of you know, from the time I first stepped foot in my producer’s studio to the release of “Introducing… ME” was six - count them, SIX - years. I’ve gone into the whys of all that in previous blogs and won’t rehash most of it here. But suffice it to say I’ve poured every once of energy, blood, sweat, tears and prayer into this project. And I am going on record as saying I am VERY proud of what I accomplished. Most people would have thrown in the towel by now. But not me. I just kept plugging away until I was able to put “Introducing… ME” out there for you. Imagine being in labor for 18 hours. Now multiply that by six years and you’ve pretty much got “Introducing… ME”. I’m very proud I was able to finally push that watermelon headed CD out of my, well, “imaginary cooch”.
Not only that, but I’m also very proud of the end product. Until my dying day I will never fear to put “Introducing… ME” in the same league as any other Top 40 dance-pop CD out there today. I put it all out on the page in the lyrics of songs like “I Feel Like Dancin’”, “ANIMAL”, “Through the Looking Glass” and “The One Thing I Can Do.” My heart and soul is in every song I wrote for this CD. I left nothing behind. Coupled with the producing skills of my cracker jack partner in crime, Guy Prier, “Introducing… ME” is a great CD. And because I think it’s fantastic, so should everyone else.
Not so much.
Here’s the deal. “Introducing… ME” has gotten mixed reviews at best. Some love it. Some hate it. Some don’t know what to do with it. Others just mention it in passing. Most haven’t mentioned it at all. (As an aside, I wonder what’s worse: getting a harsh review or being completely ignored. Maybe you other musicians can chime in on that little quandary.) But I guess when you’ve poured so much of yourself into a project, to hear other people not being on board as much as you it takes you aback.
I remember the first bad review I got. I had my day of work on this CD all planned out. I had made a list of items to do and was determined to complete them all. Earlier in the week I had sent out a follow-up e-mail to a bunch of different newspapers and magazines asking them if they had received my CD and what they thought. Well, I got an answer from one that particular morning that went something like this:
But to her credit, at least she enjoyed the CD art.
I gotta tell you family, that took the wind right out of my sails. And when I say the wind was taken out of my sails, I must’ve stared at my computer screen in awe for what felt like forever. I was completely stuck to one place and couldn’t avert my eyes from the torture of those two words: “thoroughly skipable”.
I finally found my voice after what seemed like an eternity. And it shook the house. “THOROUGHLY SKIPPABLE?!?!?!?!?!” I screamed. “THOROUGHLY FUCKING SKIPPABLE?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE MEAN THOROUGHLY FUCKING SKIPPABLE?!?!?!?!?!?!” I wanted to grab my laptop and throw it across the room, I was so enraged.
But as I grabbed my laptop and held it over my head looking for a target on the far wall I thought, “Hey, at least she liked the pictures.” And I laughed a little bit at the irony of it all. “Well if this music thing doesn’t pan out, I guess I can work it like Naomi.”
That being said, it still ripped all the energy out of me that day. I got nothing done. I couldn’t believe something I had put so much positive energy into could be so easily and quickly “skipped” by someone else. “Par for the course” never came to mind that day. “Reviews are always subjective” never crossed my cranium. “Only the good die young.” Check.
That evening one of my good friends Emmah asked me what I’d been up to all day. When I told her nothing and she asked why I told her “because I got my first review today.” Of course she wanted to hear it. So I pulled it up again and read it and almost burst into tears. To her credit, without batting an eyelash Emmah looked me straight in the eye and said:
“Maybe she meant you can skip down the street to it.”
I burst out laughing. And by laughing I mean doubled over laughter. Tears in the eyes kind of laughter. Stomach hurting you can barely breathe kind of laughter. When I finally calmed down enough to speak I said, “That is why I love you so much, Emmah!” And it’s true.
And the hits keep coming. As I’ve said before, the reviews for “Introducing… ME” have been mixed. So mixed in fact that I’ve actually stopped reading them. Because I never know when I click a link whether the reviewer is gonna love it or say I sound like William Hung. (That’s NOT an exaggeration. A reviewer actually said that about me. Harsh.)
The point to all of this is you’ll never convince me in a million years that artists who truly care about their product, when they find other people don’t feel the same way or even worse rip what they’ve created to shreds it doesn’t hurt. And there is no book I’ve found on the business of music that tells you how to deal with negative reviews. There is no 12 step program to let you get over the day a reviewer invites two of his co-workers in to pile on the negativity. (Another true story.) There is nothing out there that will tell you how to deal with the fact that not EVERYBODY is gonna love your music.
And quite honestly family, I don’t have any fool-proof method either.
But I will tell you that on the days I am brave enough to open a review and it’s not so kind I’m no longer paralyzed for the rest of the day. It still stings and it still like a punch to the jaw. But it’s no longer a kick in the nuts or a punch to the gut. As I’ve said, by and large I don’t read reviews of my work anymore because I never know what’s waiting for me on the other side of the link. This is one of those times where “ignorance truly is bliss”. Most days I’d rather not know if a review is negative or positive. I’m just happy somebody’s talking about it.
Does that make me cowardly? No. And here’s the reason why. I learned a long time ago that if you do your best in whatever it is you do, that’s all anybody can ask of you. Truth be told, I could be the second coming of Jesus Christ (or The Beatles) and there still would be people out there who look like they just got through sucking on a lemon. It’s par for the course and something as an artist I absolutely must learn to deal with or I’m in the wrong business.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I'm going to stick my head in the oven. Just kidding. Maybe.
Peace.
-Stephen
http://stephendc.com
hello@stephendc.com
http://www.myspace.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.facebook.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://twitter.com/randomcrazyshit
http://tagged.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.cdbaby.com/stephendillardcarrol
First things first, let me apologize for not giving you a blog for close to 2 months now. The truth of the matter is I haven’t had a lot to say that wasn’t said in the previous blog. I’ve just been working my ass off in mundane behind the scenes bullshit that if I had a million bucks I’d hire an assistant to handle. But seeing that I can barely rub two nickels together (or so It seems) I have to do the grunt work by myself. And it’s been a lot of grunt work since the last time we spoke. I won’t bore you with the details of everything I’ve had to do, but suffice it to say it’s been a lot. So I apologize for not writing in the blog as is my custom to do on a semi-frequent basis.
But the good news in all this is you know when you hear from me it’s bound to be good and juicy. And good and juicy is what I have in store for you this time around. Or at least it’ll be juicy. Maybe. Here’s hoping.
This blog is all about bad reviews and what to do with them. Now the knee jerk reaction to a bad review would be to scream at the top of your lungs, “FUCK YOU! YOU WOULDN’T KNOW GOOD MUSIC IF IT BENT YOU OVER A CHAIR AND STUCK IT IN SMOOTHLY!” and then go about your day. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen for me.
Here’s the problem family. As most of you know, from the time I first stepped foot in my producer’s studio to the release of “Introducing… ME” was six - count them, SIX - years. I’ve gone into the whys of all that in previous blogs and won’t rehash most of it here. But suffice it to say I’ve poured every once of energy, blood, sweat, tears and prayer into this project. And I am going on record as saying I am VERY proud of what I accomplished. Most people would have thrown in the towel by now. But not me. I just kept plugging away until I was able to put “Introducing… ME” out there for you. Imagine being in labor for 18 hours. Now multiply that by six years and you’ve pretty much got “Introducing… ME”. I’m very proud I was able to finally push that watermelon headed CD out of my, well, “imaginary cooch”.
Not only that, but I’m also very proud of the end product. Until my dying day I will never fear to put “Introducing… ME” in the same league as any other Top 40 dance-pop CD out there today. I put it all out on the page in the lyrics of songs like “I Feel Like Dancin’”, “ANIMAL”, “Through the Looking Glass” and “The One Thing I Can Do.” My heart and soul is in every song I wrote for this CD. I left nothing behind. Coupled with the producing skills of my cracker jack partner in crime, Guy Prier, “Introducing… ME” is a great CD. And because I think it’s fantastic, so should everyone else.
Not so much.
Here’s the deal. “Introducing… ME” has gotten mixed reviews at best. Some love it. Some hate it. Some don’t know what to do with it. Others just mention it in passing. Most haven’t mentioned it at all. (As an aside, I wonder what’s worse: getting a harsh review or being completely ignored. Maybe you other musicians can chime in on that little quandary.) But I guess when you’ve poured so much of yourself into a project, to hear other people not being on board as much as you it takes you aback.
I remember the first bad review I got. I had my day of work on this CD all planned out. I had made a list of items to do and was determined to complete them all. Earlier in the week I had sent out a follow-up e-mail to a bunch of different newspapers and magazines asking them if they had received my CD and what they thought. Well, I got an answer from one that particular morning that went something like this:
Hey Stephen,
Here’s the link (web only):
Thanks.
“Great!” I thought. “My very first review! YAY!” So I clicked on the link, scrolled down to the “web-only section” and found this:Stephen Dillard-Carroll Introducing…Me If you’re looking for dynamic CD-cover artwork, Carroll is your man; he looks damn good encased in mud, reclining on a woodland floor. Otherwise, this self-produced dance pop debut is thoroughly skipable. Oyos Records (stephendc.com). —Review: Nancy Ford
Ouch.But to her credit, at least she enjoyed the CD art.
I gotta tell you family, that took the wind right out of my sails. And when I say the wind was taken out of my sails, I must’ve stared at my computer screen in awe for what felt like forever. I was completely stuck to one place and couldn’t avert my eyes from the torture of those two words: “thoroughly skipable”.
I finally found my voice after what seemed like an eternity. And it shook the house. “THOROUGHLY SKIPPABLE?!?!?!?!?!” I screamed. “THOROUGHLY FUCKING SKIPPABLE?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE MEAN THOROUGHLY FUCKING SKIPPABLE?!?!?!?!?!?!” I wanted to grab my laptop and throw it across the room, I was so enraged.
But as I grabbed my laptop and held it over my head looking for a target on the far wall I thought, “Hey, at least she liked the pictures.” And I laughed a little bit at the irony of it all. “Well if this music thing doesn’t pan out, I guess I can work it like Naomi.”
That being said, it still ripped all the energy out of me that day. I got nothing done. I couldn’t believe something I had put so much positive energy into could be so easily and quickly “skipped” by someone else. “Par for the course” never came to mind that day. “Reviews are always subjective” never crossed my cranium. “Only the good die young.” Check.
That evening one of my good friends Emmah asked me what I’d been up to all day. When I told her nothing and she asked why I told her “because I got my first review today.” Of course she wanted to hear it. So I pulled it up again and read it and almost burst into tears. To her credit, without batting an eyelash Emmah looked me straight in the eye and said:
“Maybe she meant you can skip down the street to it.”
I burst out laughing. And by laughing I mean doubled over laughter. Tears in the eyes kind of laughter. Stomach hurting you can barely breathe kind of laughter. When I finally calmed down enough to speak I said, “That is why I love you so much, Emmah!” And it’s true.
And the hits keep coming. As I’ve said before, the reviews for “Introducing… ME” have been mixed. So mixed in fact that I’ve actually stopped reading them. Because I never know when I click a link whether the reviewer is gonna love it or say I sound like William Hung. (That’s NOT an exaggeration. A reviewer actually said that about me. Harsh.)
The point to all of this is you’ll never convince me in a million years that artists who truly care about their product, when they find other people don’t feel the same way or even worse rip what they’ve created to shreds it doesn’t hurt. And there is no book I’ve found on the business of music that tells you how to deal with negative reviews. There is no 12 step program to let you get over the day a reviewer invites two of his co-workers in to pile on the negativity. (Another true story.) There is nothing out there that will tell you how to deal with the fact that not EVERYBODY is gonna love your music.
And quite honestly family, I don’t have any fool-proof method either.
But I will tell you that on the days I am brave enough to open a review and it’s not so kind I’m no longer paralyzed for the rest of the day. It still stings and it still like a punch to the jaw. But it’s no longer a kick in the nuts or a punch to the gut. As I’ve said, by and large I don’t read reviews of my work anymore because I never know what’s waiting for me on the other side of the link. This is one of those times where “ignorance truly is bliss”. Most days I’d rather not know if a review is negative or positive. I’m just happy somebody’s talking about it.
Does that make me cowardly? No. And here’s the reason why. I learned a long time ago that if you do your best in whatever it is you do, that’s all anybody can ask of you. Truth be told, I could be the second coming of Jesus Christ (or The Beatles) and there still would be people out there who look like they just got through sucking on a lemon. It’s par for the course and something as an artist I absolutely must learn to deal with or I’m in the wrong business.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I'm going to stick my head in the oven. Just kidding. Maybe.
Peace.
-Stephen
http://stephendc.com
hello@stephendc.com
http://www.myspace.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.facebook.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://twitter.com/randomcrazyshit
http://tagged.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.cdbaby.com/stephendillardcarrol
9.08.2009
Man This Is A Lotta Work! (a.k.a. Where The HELL Have You Been, Stephen?)
Hello Family!
I checked my blog today and realized it's been over a month since I've posted anything here.
WTF? Where does the time go?
I have to tell you family, I eat, sleep, laugh, cry, and otherwise live this music experience. Or I should say the music business end of this music experience. I have yet to party like a rock star. (But I certainly have great expectations for the night that will happen.) I have yet to snort lines of coke off Jake Gyllenhall's ass and go running naked through the streets of LA. (I have every expectation that will NEVER happen. At least not the coke part...) I have yet to trash a hotel room. (Who's paying for this? Oh, I'm paying for it? Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and put this vase down...) I have yet to get a blow job from Hugh Jackman in the VIP section of the hottest club in LA, or bend over and take it like a man from Gerard Butler in the middle of a Chinese restaurant over Peking Duck. (This WILL happen, ladies and gentlemen. "The Secret" tells me so.) The only bottles I've popped are Tylenol. My debit card doesn't work as well ever since I Magic Markered it black. The last thing I threw in the bag was groceries. No family, the life of a "rock star" has yet to happen to me.
So what the hell have I been doing this last month? Working. It's absolutely incredible the amount of work that goes into doing this music thing. It never ceases to amaze me. And the time that must be invested in doing what must be done is astounding.
True confession time.
Family, I'm pulling it all out of my ass and seeing what works and what doesn't.
Meaning, outside of the countless books I've read on "the art of building a business" I really don't have any other expertise at my fingertips. I don't have a record executive who says what works and what doesn't. (Keep your "fucking suits don't know their asses from a hole in the ground" comments to yourself, please.) I don't have a program director at a radio station telling me what works and what doesn't. And most of my family and friends have never been business owners of any kind. They've spent their lives working for other people. So I don't even have people that genuinely care about me as a resource I can go to for guidance on how to start and run your own business.
So basically I'm pulling it outta my ass and seeing what works and what doesn't.
And so far so good, I have to say. Pretty much everything I've done so far - with some VERY glaring exceptions - has been met with good results.But man is it time-consuming!!!!
I've basically spent last month gathering information on college newspapers and college radio stations and contacting them all to see if I can't get my CD reviewed and played on their stations. I pored through HUNDREDS of newspapers to see which colleges did reviews. Most only review movies, if they do reviews at all. Out of the hundreds of newspapers I looked at, I was left with a little over 200 newspapers that I then had to turn around and contact to see if they'd review my CD.
After that was done, I did the same with college radio stations. I pored over hundreds of college radio stations around the US. I had to find out what type of music they played. After finding the stations that played my genre of music, I then had to see if they accept submissions from indie artists. Once I found out that information, I had to contact a little over 200 stations to ask them if they would accept my submission.
Now the last part I really didn't have to do. Most college radio stations that play my genre of music will automatically accept submissions and have a contact page on their website to tell you where to snail mail it. However, I decided to be smart about it. Most indie bands and artists just submit unsolicited music to college radio stations in hope of them being listened to and played on the radio. What I decided to do was contact the radio stations and ask them if I could submit my music. And even if I don't hear back from some of them, it is my hope they at least opened my e-mail. I'll be sending my CD to them regardless of whether they answer me or not. But this way, hopefully, once they do get my CD they'll remember my e-mail and maybe my CD will get to the top of the "listen to" pile rather than the bottom. Yes, it's an extra step and it's too early to tell how well it will work out. Again, I'm pulling it out of my ass and much like Caroline from that good old OutKast song, sometimes it smells like roses and sometimes it smells like poo-oo-oo-oo.
But no matter what, it's time CONSUMING. I probably put in 25 - 30 hours a week on music business stuff this past month.
The good news in all this is I only have to do the grunt work once. Meaning, I'll never again have to spend hours on end trying to find college newspapers that will review my CD or college radio stations that will play my CD. Because I now have all that information at my fingertips. Some information may change, but by and large it will stay the same. So when my sophomore CD drops, I'll just have to recontact these places to ask if I could send them my materials. And most I will already have a working relationship with. So it'll be a quickie phone call to Joe Schmoe Music Director, or Jane Schmoe Music Reviewer to say I'm sending my stuff rather than sending out an e-mail to the great unknown and hoping for a reply.
So the lesson in all of this is regardless of what type of business you are setting up for yourself, it requires a LOT of hard work. Work that you don't anticipate. Work that will wear you the hell out.
But if you love music as much as I do, it's worth it.
Peace.
-Stephen
http://stephendc.com
hello@stephendc.com
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/stephendillardcarrol
http://www.myspace.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.facebook.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.tagged.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://twitter.com - @randomcrazyshit
I checked my blog today and realized it's been over a month since I've posted anything here.
WTF? Where does the time go?
I have to tell you family, I eat, sleep, laugh, cry, and otherwise live this music experience. Or I should say the music business end of this music experience. I have yet to party like a rock star. (But I certainly have great expectations for the night that will happen.) I have yet to snort lines of coke off Jake Gyllenhall's ass and go running naked through the streets of LA. (I have every expectation that will NEVER happen. At least not the coke part...) I have yet to trash a hotel room. (Who's paying for this? Oh, I'm paying for it? Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and put this vase down...) I have yet to get a blow job from Hugh Jackman in the VIP section of the hottest club in LA, or bend over and take it like a man from Gerard Butler in the middle of a Chinese restaurant over Peking Duck. (This WILL happen, ladies and gentlemen. "The Secret" tells me so.) The only bottles I've popped are Tylenol. My debit card doesn't work as well ever since I Magic Markered it black. The last thing I threw in the bag was groceries. No family, the life of a "rock star" has yet to happen to me.
So what the hell have I been doing this last month? Working. It's absolutely incredible the amount of work that goes into doing this music thing. It never ceases to amaze me. And the time that must be invested in doing what must be done is astounding.
True confession time.
Family, I'm pulling it all out of my ass and seeing what works and what doesn't.
Meaning, outside of the countless books I've read on "the art of building a business" I really don't have any other expertise at my fingertips. I don't have a record executive who says what works and what doesn't. (Keep your "fucking suits don't know their asses from a hole in the ground" comments to yourself, please.) I don't have a program director at a radio station telling me what works and what doesn't. And most of my family and friends have never been business owners of any kind. They've spent their lives working for other people. So I don't even have people that genuinely care about me as a resource I can go to for guidance on how to start and run your own business.
So basically I'm pulling it outta my ass and seeing what works and what doesn't.
And so far so good, I have to say. Pretty much everything I've done so far - with some VERY glaring exceptions - has been met with good results.But man is it time-consuming!!!!
I've basically spent last month gathering information on college newspapers and college radio stations and contacting them all to see if I can't get my CD reviewed and played on their stations. I pored through HUNDREDS of newspapers to see which colleges did reviews. Most only review movies, if they do reviews at all. Out of the hundreds of newspapers I looked at, I was left with a little over 200 newspapers that I then had to turn around and contact to see if they'd review my CD.
After that was done, I did the same with college radio stations. I pored over hundreds of college radio stations around the US. I had to find out what type of music they played. After finding the stations that played my genre of music, I then had to see if they accept submissions from indie artists. Once I found out that information, I had to contact a little over 200 stations to ask them if they would accept my submission.
Now the last part I really didn't have to do. Most college radio stations that play my genre of music will automatically accept submissions and have a contact page on their website to tell you where to snail mail it. However, I decided to be smart about it. Most indie bands and artists just submit unsolicited music to college radio stations in hope of them being listened to and played on the radio. What I decided to do was contact the radio stations and ask them if I could submit my music. And even if I don't hear back from some of them, it is my hope they at least opened my e-mail. I'll be sending my CD to them regardless of whether they answer me or not. But this way, hopefully, once they do get my CD they'll remember my e-mail and maybe my CD will get to the top of the "listen to" pile rather than the bottom. Yes, it's an extra step and it's too early to tell how well it will work out. Again, I'm pulling it out of my ass and much like Caroline from that good old OutKast song, sometimes it smells like roses and sometimes it smells like poo-oo-oo-oo.
But no matter what, it's time CONSUMING. I probably put in 25 - 30 hours a week on music business stuff this past month.
The good news in all this is I only have to do the grunt work once. Meaning, I'll never again have to spend hours on end trying to find college newspapers that will review my CD or college radio stations that will play my CD. Because I now have all that information at my fingertips. Some information may change, but by and large it will stay the same. So when my sophomore CD drops, I'll just have to recontact these places to ask if I could send them my materials. And most I will already have a working relationship with. So it'll be a quickie phone call to Joe Schmoe Music Director, or Jane Schmoe Music Reviewer to say I'm sending my stuff rather than sending out an e-mail to the great unknown and hoping for a reply.
So the lesson in all of this is regardless of what type of business you are setting up for yourself, it requires a LOT of hard work. Work that you don't anticipate. Work that will wear you the hell out.
But if you love music as much as I do, it's worth it.
Peace.
-Stephen
http://stephendc.com
hello@stephendc.com
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/stephendillardcarrol
http://www.myspace.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.facebook.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.tagged.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://twitter.com - @randomcrazyshit
7.19.2009
Gary Busey, You Changed My Mind!!!
Hello Family!
As most of you know it's been my opinion that Twitter is a waste of valuable online real estate. I do not need to know you're taking a crap. You do not need to know I'm chronically masturbating in a corner with the shades pulled down, the lights turned off and "SpongeBob SquarePants" on my tv. Muted, of course, so I can just jack off while watching that sponge soak up water. Over and over again. And that laugh! Oh that laugh that sends electricity through my body and makes my balls churn like two little cannons waiting for a sponge to laugh maniacally so they can fire baby batter into the air. And wonder aloud as I'm wipe the cum off my chest and chin with my very own square yellow sponge, "I wonder just how much jizz can one little yellow sponge take? But you know, don't you SpongeBob. Cause you're a dirty little sponge, arentcha? You're a dirty little spooge sopping up sponge from the bottom of the sea, arentcha? You know exactly how much you can take, huh? Yeah. You know."
The point is family, you don't need to know that.
I don't need to "tweet" you with every little thing that's happening in my life (music. masturbation. that's pretty much it.) And I certainly don't want to hear about the mundane minutiae that is your life. I'm sure you have a million and one things to do that have absolutely nothing to do with updating me and the rest of the universe about what's going on with you.
But like a lone cowboy riding into a one-horse town with a glimmer in his eye and a sherriff's badge on his chest and two guns at his side ready to prove anybody who crosses him otherwise, Gary Busey has changed my mind.
Yes family, you read it right: Much like a cracked cranium will change your point of view forever, Gary Busey - America's FAVORITE cracked cranium - has changed my mind about Twitter.
Check out the article here:
http://www.okgazette.com/p/13031/a/4309/Default.aspx?ReturnUrl=LwBEAGUAZgBhAHUAbAB0AC4AYQBzAHAAeAAslashAHAAPQAxADIAOAAxADQA
Now it's probably not really Gary Busey in all these accounts tweeting random shit, but I for one am not going to take that chance. The chance that Gary Busey - crazed drum player from back in the day on Howard Stern, Promise Keeper to this day (I think) - has tapped into a level of genius not seen since his Oscar overlooked performance in "Homo Erectus".
Yes family, Gary Busey has tapped into the genius of posting random crazy shit on what may or may not be several accounts in his name on Twitter. And I'm following his lead.
So family for your daily dose of random crazy (hopefully funny) shit posted online and to your BlackBerry anytime you want it, go here:
https://twitter.com/randomcrazyshit
Here's what you won't find in any of my tweets:
1. Updates about my life.
2. Updates about my so-called music career
3. Updates on new SpongeBob SquarePants episodes (okay maybe I'll update that)
Here's what you will find in all of my tweets:
1. Random Crazy Shit.
So I'm on Twitter now. Follow Me!
Peace.
-Stephen
http://stephendc.com
hello@stephendc.com
http://www.myspace.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.facebook.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.tagged.com/stephendillardcarroll
https://twitter.com/randomcrazyshit
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/stephendillardcarrol
As most of you know it's been my opinion that Twitter is a waste of valuable online real estate. I do not need to know you're taking a crap. You do not need to know I'm chronically masturbating in a corner with the shades pulled down, the lights turned off and "SpongeBob SquarePants" on my tv. Muted, of course, so I can just jack off while watching that sponge soak up water. Over and over again. And that laugh! Oh that laugh that sends electricity through my body and makes my balls churn like two little cannons waiting for a sponge to laugh maniacally so they can fire baby batter into the air. And wonder aloud as I'm wipe the cum off my chest and chin with my very own square yellow sponge, "I wonder just how much jizz can one little yellow sponge take? But you know, don't you SpongeBob. Cause you're a dirty little sponge, arentcha? You're a dirty little spooge sopping up sponge from the bottom of the sea, arentcha? You know exactly how much you can take, huh? Yeah. You know."
The point is family, you don't need to know that.
I don't need to "tweet" you with every little thing that's happening in my life (music. masturbation. that's pretty much it.) And I certainly don't want to hear about the mundane minutiae that is your life. I'm sure you have a million and one things to do that have absolutely nothing to do with updating me and the rest of the universe about what's going on with you.
But like a lone cowboy riding into a one-horse town with a glimmer in his eye and a sherriff's badge on his chest and two guns at his side ready to prove anybody who crosses him otherwise, Gary Busey has changed my mind.
Yes family, you read it right: Much like a cracked cranium will change your point of view forever, Gary Busey - America's FAVORITE cracked cranium - has changed my mind about Twitter.
Check out the article here:
http://www.okgazette.com/p/13031/a/4309/Default.aspx?ReturnUrl=LwBEAGUAZgBhAHUAbAB0AC4AYQBzAHAAeAAslashAHAAPQAxADIAOAAxADQA
Now it's probably not really Gary Busey in all these accounts tweeting random shit, but I for one am not going to take that chance. The chance that Gary Busey - crazed drum player from back in the day on Howard Stern, Promise Keeper to this day (I think) - has tapped into a level of genius not seen since his Oscar overlooked performance in "Homo Erectus".
Yes family, Gary Busey has tapped into the genius of posting random crazy shit on what may or may not be several accounts in his name on Twitter. And I'm following his lead.
So family for your daily dose of random crazy (hopefully funny) shit posted online and to your BlackBerry anytime you want it, go here:
https://twitter.com/randomcrazyshit
Here's what you won't find in any of my tweets:
1. Updates about my life.
2. Updates about my so-called music career
3. Updates on new SpongeBob SquarePants episodes (okay maybe I'll update that)
Here's what you will find in all of my tweets:
1. Random Crazy Shit.
So I'm on Twitter now. Follow Me!
Peace.
-Stephen
http://stephendc.com
hello@stephendc.com
http://www.myspace.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.facebook.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.tagged.com/stephendillardcarroll
https://twitter.com/randomcrazyshit
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/stephendillardcarrol
7.12.2009
What's New With Stephen Dillard-Carroll?
So what's new with Stephen Dillard-Carroll?
Check it out:
1) Stephen Dillard-Carroll will be a featured artist at this year's Enid GLBTQA Pride Picnic & Festival in Enid, Oklahoma on Saturday, July 18th, 2009. The pride picnic and festival will be held at Meadowlake Park, Pavillion #1. Appropriately titled, "Let Your Colors Show" Stephen will be doing just that as he takes the main stage in his first performance of the summer. He will also have a booth where he will be meeting fans and selling his CD all day long. So make plans now to see him live and in person at the Enid GLBTQA Pride Picnic & Festival on Saturday, July 18th, 2009. For detailed directions and performance schedule, go here:
http://enidglbt.org/PrideSchedule.html
2) I'm looking for fans to document my live shows. I'm looking for photographers and videographers to record me doing my "thang" on stage. Whether you consider yourself an amateur, a hobbyist, or do it for a living it doesn't matter. I wanna see the show from your eyes. The good stuff may very well be posted to stephendc.com. So grab your cameras, your camera phones, and your video equipment and come out to see me live. Then send what you caught on tape here:
caughtintheact@stephendc.com
3) "I Feel Like Dancin'", the second single from "Introducing... ME" is on deck to be released by the end of July to internet radio stations all around the world. Once I've compiled a definitive list of the internet radio stations that have it in hand, I'll be sending out another e-mail (complete with direct links to Request Lines) for you to do your part to hear "I Feel Like Dancin'" in heavy rotation at your favorite internet radio station. As always, stay tuned to stephendc.com and this blog for all the latest updates.
4) As of this writing, "Introducing... ME" is being reviewed by several regional and national publications. As soon as I'm made aware of release dates for reviews (which early word on the street is "FABULOUS", by the way) I will pass the information on to you so you can grab a copy at your favorite newsstand. Stay tuned to stephendc.com and this blog for all the details.
Here's the rest of the good stuff you need to know:
1) I need to send out a BIG THANK YOU to all the people out there that have purchased "Introducing... ME" through CDBaby.com. Since going live a little over a month ago, "Introducing... ME" has sold out once and continues to sell to this day. So to all of you all there that have purchased one, two, even three copies at a time of "Introducing... ME" (you know who you are!), thank you. My music family's support support in this endeavor means the world to me. To those of you who have yet to purchase a copy, don't sleep on it family. And to those of you who have put down the $12.99 for you own copy, "Thank You" isn't nearly enough but I hope at least for now it will suffice. To get your hands on a copy all your own, go here:
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/stephendillardcarrol (And no, that's NOT a typo at the end of the web address. They did in fact leave the last "l" off my last name.)
2) If you'd rather download it to your computer or mp3 player, you can get it from i-tunes.com, amazonmp3.com, napster.com, and shockhound.com. And should you have a subscription with rhapsody.com, no worries, "Introducing... ME" will be coming on board there as well very shortly. To find me, just go to any of the above websites and type in my last name "Dillard-Carroll" or type in the name of the CD, "Introducing... ME" and you will have the CD to purchase at your fingertips.
And that's it for now, family. Stay tuned to stephendc.com and this blog for all the latest details. I want to send out one final THANK YOU before I close this blog out. I've said it before and I'll say it again: "I cannot do this without you!" All your love and support and cheerleading from the sidelines has kept me going in my darkest nights and my brightest days. So thank you to everyone who's in my corner. I appreciate you more than you'll ever know.
Peace.
-Stephen
http://stephendc.com
hello@stephendc.com
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/stephendillardcarrol
http://www.myspace.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.facebook.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.tagged.com/stephendillardcarroll
Check it out:
1) Stephen Dillard-Carroll will be a featured artist at this year's Enid GLBTQA Pride Picnic & Festival in Enid, Oklahoma on Saturday, July 18th, 2009. The pride picnic and festival will be held at Meadowlake Park, Pavillion #1. Appropriately titled, "Let Your Colors Show" Stephen will be doing just that as he takes the main stage in his first performance of the summer. He will also have a booth where he will be meeting fans and selling his CD all day long. So make plans now to see him live and in person at the Enid GLBTQA Pride Picnic & Festival on Saturday, July 18th, 2009. For detailed directions and performance schedule, go here:
http://enidglbt.org/PrideSchedule.html
2) I'm looking for fans to document my live shows. I'm looking for photographers and videographers to record me doing my "thang" on stage. Whether you consider yourself an amateur, a hobbyist, or do it for a living it doesn't matter. I wanna see the show from your eyes. The good stuff may very well be posted to stephendc.com. So grab your cameras, your camera phones, and your video equipment and come out to see me live. Then send what you caught on tape here:
caughtintheact@stephendc.com
3) "I Feel Like Dancin'", the second single from "Introducing... ME" is on deck to be released by the end of July to internet radio stations all around the world. Once I've compiled a definitive list of the internet radio stations that have it in hand, I'll be sending out another e-mail (complete with direct links to Request Lines) for you to do your part to hear "I Feel Like Dancin'" in heavy rotation at your favorite internet radio station. As always, stay tuned to stephendc.com and this blog for all the latest updates.
4) As of this writing, "Introducing... ME" is being reviewed by several regional and national publications. As soon as I'm made aware of release dates for reviews (which early word on the street is "FABULOUS", by the way) I will pass the information on to you so you can grab a copy at your favorite newsstand. Stay tuned to stephendc.com and this blog for all the details.
Here's the rest of the good stuff you need to know:
1) I need to send out a BIG THANK YOU to all the people out there that have purchased "Introducing... ME" through CDBaby.com. Since going live a little over a month ago, "Introducing... ME" has sold out once and continues to sell to this day. So to all of you all there that have purchased one, two, even three copies at a time of "Introducing... ME" (you know who you are!), thank you. My music family's support support in this endeavor means the world to me. To those of you who have yet to purchase a copy, don't sleep on it family. And to those of you who have put down the $12.99 for you own copy, "Thank You" isn't nearly enough but I hope at least for now it will suffice. To get your hands on a copy all your own, go here:
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/stephendillardcarrol (And no, that's NOT a typo at the end of the web address. They did in fact leave the last "l" off my last name.)
2) If you'd rather download it to your computer or mp3 player, you can get it from i-tunes.com, amazonmp3.com, napster.com, and shockhound.com. And should you have a subscription with rhapsody.com, no worries, "Introducing... ME" will be coming on board there as well very shortly. To find me, just go to any of the above websites and type in my last name "Dillard-Carroll" or type in the name of the CD, "Introducing... ME" and you will have the CD to purchase at your fingertips.
And that's it for now, family. Stay tuned to stephendc.com and this blog for all the latest details. I want to send out one final THANK YOU before I close this blog out. I've said it before and I'll say it again: "I cannot do this without you!" All your love and support and cheerleading from the sidelines has kept me going in my darkest nights and my brightest days. So thank you to everyone who's in my corner. I appreciate you more than you'll ever know.
Peace.
-Stephen
http://stephendc.com
hello@stephendc.com
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/stephendillardcarrol
http://www.myspace.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.facebook.com/stephendillardcarroll
http://www.tagged.com/stephendillardcarroll
4.17.2009
I'm Not Madonna
Hello Family!
We're gonna kinda take a little detour for the blog this time. Instead of telling you what I've been up to as of this moment I'm going to tell you how I got to this point so far. While I'm not going to tell you my life story, I am going to tell you (in a very condensed blog-like manner) how I got here.
So let's all pile into the "way back machine" (20 points if you get that reference) and go a little further back in my history to give you some sort of context.
At the beginning of this journey we find me in New York City. Fresh off the (figurative) bus with a suitcase by my side and a dream in my heart I stepped into the heart of Times Square. But not only did I have a dream in my heart I had a plan. I was 25. I was giving myself 5 years to go from an unknown to the heights of superstardom. Why 5 years?
Because that's how long it took Madonna.
"Yeah, but you're no Madonna!" I can hear some of you say. And you're right. But tell that to a 25 year old who was bound and determined to BE the next Madonna instead of charting his own course and you'd get a look of confusion. Or anger. More than likely a combination of both. "Whaddya MEAN I'm no Madonna?!?! Are you saying I have no talent? Are you saying I have no drive? Are you saying I have no determination? Are you saying I won't work my ass off so that EVERYBODY knows my name? Because if that's what you're saying , then I have two words you should get used to hearing:
FUCK YOU!!!"
See the thing is although I had - and still have - talent, drive, determination, and the willingness to work my ass off, I hadn't come into my own yet. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. All I I knew was I had a plan. And I'd even worked it out to the detail:
Year One: Move into hostel, get a temp job working in an office. Go from temp position to full time position. Save as much money as possible. End of year one, move out of hostel and into my own cute apartment ala "Friends" and "Sex and the City".
Year Two: Now settled into the day job and bills getting paid on time, start singing at open mic nights and auditioning everywhere. At the end of year two, land a regular gig singing at a cabaret somewhere in Chelsea or the West Village.
Year Three: Quit day job and create a following for myself in the cabaret circuit in NYC and around the East Coast. At the end of Year Three find a really good Broadway agent.
Year Four: Land a supporting role on Broadway. I didn't have to be the star of the show because a) that's not how Barbra did it and b) I had bigger fish to fry. At the end of year four finish my successful run on Broadway, stellar reviews and all, and head to the studio.
Year Five: Industry buzz around town is that I would be releasing a CD that year. But what no one knows and what I kept under serious legal wraps is that instead of it being what everyone expected - yet another album of Broadway standards - I'd release a CD of pure dance pop music. In the summer of year five I'd release my CD and because it was good music and it was excellently produced and because I had worked my ass off I would sell MILLIONS of copies and be shot into the stratosphere of superstardom.
Now to the outsider looking into my head they'd think, "Well that's a REAL round about way of getting from point A to point B." But there was a method to my madness. Bear with me and it'll make sense, I promise.
To this day I worship Madonna. I look up to her in so many ways. She inspires me to, if nothing else, work my ass off for my dreams. She certainly did and despite the odds has achieved a level of stardom few have before or ever will again. But the one thing it took her close to 20 years in the business to get was a little respect from the music community. She could sell millions upon millions of CDs, sell out shows from here to Timbuktu on a consistent basis, and become an icon for the ages, but until her "Ray Of Light" CD dropped the music snobs weren't giving her any kind of respect.
Well I wasn't going out like that.
I've been singing in some way my entire life. I've been dancing for as long as I can remember. I've been front row center grabbing the mic in every choir, band, music group you could think of, basking in the glory of the limelight for as long as I can remember. Hell, I love music so music I got a bachelor's degree in it. Say what you will about me but, much like Cartman, you will "respect my musical authority". And in my head the only way to garner that "respect" was to earn my stripes in "legitimate" music. Then when they (who is "they", anyway?) collectively finally said, "Hey, that kid's got talent!" that's when I would make that left turn and do what I wanted to do musically. And I'd do it so well that they would have NO CHOICE but to respect me in any area I chose to go musically.
Good plan, right? Oh wait. It didn't quite work out that way.
There are more than a few problems with that plan. The first glaring problem is, to borrow an idea from AA, no matter what you do life works on life's terms not yours. You can plan your life out to the smallest detail. But after you put that plan into action you step off the curb and you'll get hit by a bus. Or you get pregnant and decide to keep the baby. Or you fall in love. Or other priorities take control and you have no choice but to play the game the way life wants it played.
The second is I'm not Madonna. Yes it is true that from the time she was dropped off in Times Square until she released her first single "Everybody" was around five years. Still, as much as I worship her, that wouldn't be my experience. Her life will never be mine, her experiences will never be mine, and how she got from point A to point B will never be how I traverse those same points. Why? Because much like her song from her "Hard Candy" CD, "She's Not Me". She is uniquely her. And I am uniquely me. Our circumstances may mirror each other from time to time, (if I'm insanely lucky and blessed and constantly work my ass off) but step away from that mirror and suddenly we're different people again.
But at 25 you couldn't tell me anything. I was gonna be the next Madonna, dammit! And there was NOTHING anybody could tell me that would ever get me to think any different. If it took Madonna five years to make it, then goddammit it would take me five years.
So fresh off the (figurative) bus I set about my plan. And was immediately dealt life lessons that would take me close to five years in NYC to figure out. Life works on life's terms, not mine. And I'm not Madonna. I have to be Stephen. But first I had to figure out just who the hell Stephen was and is. Then once I figured out who Stephen was (I'm still on that journey, by the way) then I could start to make a CD that will eventually shoot me into the stratosphere of superstardom.
I tell you this story because it ties into the name of my CD: "Introducing... ME". But more than that, it's a cautionary tale to anyone who will listen. The people that stick around in this business we call music are the people that are unique. They have a voice all their own. They're the folk who know who they are and are comfortable in their own skin. People who aren't afraid of what "they" may or may not think. Those that know that no matter how many accolades you may rack up or how much "respect" you get for your musical prowess, when it comes to you there will ALWAYS be those with a look on their faces like they just smelled the nastiest fart ever. In order to survive this business for longer than 15 minutes you absolutely HAVE to know who you are, stand your ground and be proud. Come what may.
No, I'm not Madonna. I'm Stephen. And I'm JUICY!
Take it for what it is and do your own thing.
Peace.
-Stephen
We're gonna kinda take a little detour for the blog this time. Instead of telling you what I've been up to as of this moment I'm going to tell you how I got to this point so far. While I'm not going to tell you my life story, I am going to tell you (in a very condensed blog-like manner) how I got here.
So let's all pile into the "way back machine" (20 points if you get that reference) and go a little further back in my history to give you some sort of context.
At the beginning of this journey we find me in New York City. Fresh off the (figurative) bus with a suitcase by my side and a dream in my heart I stepped into the heart of Times Square. But not only did I have a dream in my heart I had a plan. I was 25. I was giving myself 5 years to go from an unknown to the heights of superstardom. Why 5 years?
Because that's how long it took Madonna.
"Yeah, but you're no Madonna!" I can hear some of you say. And you're right. But tell that to a 25 year old who was bound and determined to BE the next Madonna instead of charting his own course and you'd get a look of confusion. Or anger. More than likely a combination of both. "Whaddya MEAN I'm no Madonna?!?! Are you saying I have no talent? Are you saying I have no drive? Are you saying I have no determination? Are you saying I won't work my ass off so that EVERYBODY knows my name? Because if that's what you're saying , then I have two words you should get used to hearing:
FUCK YOU!!!"
See the thing is although I had - and still have - talent, drive, determination, and the willingness to work my ass off, I hadn't come into my own yet. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. All I I knew was I had a plan. And I'd even worked it out to the detail:
Year One: Move into hostel, get a temp job working in an office. Go from temp position to full time position. Save as much money as possible. End of year one, move out of hostel and into my own cute apartment ala "Friends" and "Sex and the City".
Year Two: Now settled into the day job and bills getting paid on time, start singing at open mic nights and auditioning everywhere. At the end of year two, land a regular gig singing at a cabaret somewhere in Chelsea or the West Village.
Year Three: Quit day job and create a following for myself in the cabaret circuit in NYC and around the East Coast. At the end of Year Three find a really good Broadway agent.
Year Four: Land a supporting role on Broadway. I didn't have to be the star of the show because a) that's not how Barbra did it and b) I had bigger fish to fry. At the end of year four finish my successful run on Broadway, stellar reviews and all, and head to the studio.
Year Five: Industry buzz around town is that I would be releasing a CD that year. But what no one knows and what I kept under serious legal wraps is that instead of it being what everyone expected - yet another album of Broadway standards - I'd release a CD of pure dance pop music. In the summer of year five I'd release my CD and because it was good music and it was excellently produced and because I had worked my ass off I would sell MILLIONS of copies and be shot into the stratosphere of superstardom.
Now to the outsider looking into my head they'd think, "Well that's a REAL round about way of getting from point A to point B." But there was a method to my madness. Bear with me and it'll make sense, I promise.
To this day I worship Madonna. I look up to her in so many ways. She inspires me to, if nothing else, work my ass off for my dreams. She certainly did and despite the odds has achieved a level of stardom few have before or ever will again. But the one thing it took her close to 20 years in the business to get was a little respect from the music community. She could sell millions upon millions of CDs, sell out shows from here to Timbuktu on a consistent basis, and become an icon for the ages, but until her "Ray Of Light" CD dropped the music snobs weren't giving her any kind of respect.
Well I wasn't going out like that.
I've been singing in some way my entire life. I've been dancing for as long as I can remember. I've been front row center grabbing the mic in every choir, band, music group you could think of, basking in the glory of the limelight for as long as I can remember. Hell, I love music so music I got a bachelor's degree in it. Say what you will about me but, much like Cartman, you will "respect my musical authority". And in my head the only way to garner that "respect" was to earn my stripes in "legitimate" music. Then when they (who is "they", anyway?) collectively finally said, "Hey, that kid's got talent!" that's when I would make that left turn and do what I wanted to do musically. And I'd do it so well that they would have NO CHOICE but to respect me in any area I chose to go musically.
Good plan, right? Oh wait. It didn't quite work out that way.
There are more than a few problems with that plan. The first glaring problem is, to borrow an idea from AA, no matter what you do life works on life's terms not yours. You can plan your life out to the smallest detail. But after you put that plan into action you step off the curb and you'll get hit by a bus. Or you get pregnant and decide to keep the baby. Or you fall in love. Or other priorities take control and you have no choice but to play the game the way life wants it played.
The second is I'm not Madonna. Yes it is true that from the time she was dropped off in Times Square until she released her first single "Everybody" was around five years. Still, as much as I worship her, that wouldn't be my experience. Her life will never be mine, her experiences will never be mine, and how she got from point A to point B will never be how I traverse those same points. Why? Because much like her song from her "Hard Candy" CD, "She's Not Me". She is uniquely her. And I am uniquely me. Our circumstances may mirror each other from time to time, (if I'm insanely lucky and blessed and constantly work my ass off) but step away from that mirror and suddenly we're different people again.
But at 25 you couldn't tell me anything. I was gonna be the next Madonna, dammit! And there was NOTHING anybody could tell me that would ever get me to think any different. If it took Madonna five years to make it, then goddammit it would take me five years.
So fresh off the (figurative) bus I set about my plan. And was immediately dealt life lessons that would take me close to five years in NYC to figure out. Life works on life's terms, not mine. And I'm not Madonna. I have to be Stephen. But first I had to figure out just who the hell Stephen was and is. Then once I figured out who Stephen was (I'm still on that journey, by the way) then I could start to make a CD that will eventually shoot me into the stratosphere of superstardom.
I tell you this story because it ties into the name of my CD: "Introducing... ME". But more than that, it's a cautionary tale to anyone who will listen. The people that stick around in this business we call music are the people that are unique. They have a voice all their own. They're the folk who know who they are and are comfortable in their own skin. People who aren't afraid of what "they" may or may not think. Those that know that no matter how many accolades you may rack up or how much "respect" you get for your musical prowess, when it comes to you there will ALWAYS be those with a look on their faces like they just smelled the nastiest fart ever. In order to survive this business for longer than 15 minutes you absolutely HAVE to know who you are, stand your ground and be proud. Come what may.
No, I'm not Madonna. I'm Stephen. And I'm JUICY!
Take it for what it is and do your own thing.
Peace.
-Stephen
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