Where The Hell Have You Been? pt 1

Hello Family!

Well it's been longer than I anticipated between new blogs! The last time I came around to blog was in the middle of July. I could've sworn I did a blog just the other day! Apparently not. So now is the time to update you on just where the hell I've been and what I've been up to these past few months.

The good news is I've been reading. A LOT. And not just comic books, either! (Although, as an aside for those of you who really do think Batman is dead I got three words for you: HE AINT DEAD! Not only are they rebooting the Batman franchise, they're also rebooting the Nightwing, Robin, and Catwoman franchises. Trust Daddy on this one, darlings. Batsy aint dead. They're just rebooting him. Just like they've rebooted the other two members of the Trinity.)
But enough about comic books, let's talk about music!

As I stated before, I have been reading, children. Because I'm committed to treating OYOS Records as a legitimate business instead of just a hobby, I've been reading books on business like they're going out of fashion. I've recently come to the conclusion that as much as my previous blog about "Going It Alone vs Asking For Help" was on the money, the books I've read suggest that in general grants are given to those organizations that deem themselves charities. And as much as "Give Your Money To A Deserving Artist" is so tight it's a virgin, unfortunately there aren't a helluva lot of organizations here in the US that will give a "deserving artist" their hard earned money and not want to at least have some say-so in the day to day spending of said money.

No children, those "angels" that will give away money to a deserving artist and sit back and let them spend the money any way they want are called "sugar daddies." And while I certainly will not fault anybody for making a living any way they can - we're in a recession, after all - I couldn't imagine myself sucking 80 year old dick in exchange for a blank check. I'm certainly not above it, nor do I judge it - we all have our price after all - I just see that I have other options that while it may take me a while longer to realize my dreams they don't involve swallowing 103 year old powerdery sperm. (And always remember children, you can only sleep your way to the middle.)

The second option of course is to get a small business loan. In our current economy that option is so outlandish, so laughable, so crazy, it just might work. Unfortunately while I have the balls to do a lot of shit, going into my local bank to ask for a loan with bad credit and no collateral while they're in there fighting for their collective lives, well let's just say that takes brass balls I have yet to grow. Not to mention if by some act of God I get a kind soul to say "okay" the interest rates would have me in hock for the next three lifetimes. So asking for a small business loan, regardless of how sound my business plan is - and trust me children, it's SOUND - aint gonna happen.

So to recap: a grant is out the window. A small business loan is too. What's a boy to do? I suppose I could hit up my friends and family for money. But that may get me enough to pay for a Happy Meal without the prize inside. Hey, it's a recession. Money aint flowing for anybody these days the way it used to. I completely understand. I'm right there with you. And even if money were flowing like water, and here's a true confession for those of you looking for some inside juice into the "private life of Stephen", I'd rather cut off a testicle with a case knife than ask most of my family for money. Trust me when I tell you that 99% of them would tell me no. The other 1% would want to "run" shit. And 100% would talk about me either in front of my face or behind my back. Or both. So there is no way in HELL I'd ask anybody in my extended family for money unless I was down to my last dime and my parents were living in cardboard boxes.

So again, I ask you what's a boy to do? Well, outside of the "sugar daddy" option - not gonna happen, at least not today - the only thing I can do is get a better paying job and pay for it all myself.

Which is what I did. I got a new job back in September. It gives me enough money to not only pay all my bills, but gives me enough money to pay for this crazy dream. I can certainly see myself staying there until I make enough money selling CDs and touring to make music my one and only day job.

(By the way, for those of you who live outside of the US and are artists, from all I've read it's MUCH easier for you to get grant money than it is for us poor souls in the US. I'd look under every rock and nook and cranny if I lived outside of the US to see what kind of money I could get. I won't go into it here because for the purposes of this blog I'm up shit creek without a padde when it comes to family, banks or organizations loaning me the money to finance my dreams. But it's certainly something to be aware of that seems, from all outward appearances, to be a viable source of income if you live outside the US. If I'm wrong, please let me know.)

That's it for this week. Stay tuned for Pt. 2 which wraps up the rest of what I've been up to since we last talked (and is MUCH juicier, trust me). That blog drops at the latest next Sunday, I promise.

As always, take it for what it is and do your own thing.

-Stephen