Zen And The Musician

Hello Family!

This blog will be a little different than the other blog postings, and here's the reason why. I'm going to talk about spirituality. One of my goals in this musical endeavor is to ALWAYS separate my spiritual life from my professional life. Meaning, no one likes to be preached to regardless of their spiritual philosophy. My spiritual life is my own and one I am deeply committed to. At the same time, I realize my spiritual path is certainly not the path others would choose. And I'm okay with that. It is what it is and I wouldn't want it any other way.

But something happened the other day that got me to thinking about my CD and so-called music career and how my spirituality continues to evolve around it. And because what happened to me happens all the time in the industry, I thought I would share.

A couple days ago I had planned to send out a huge mailing to DJs and clubs around the country. Of course all this costs postage money and I had budgeted for about 150 packages to be sent out. I was pumped up and excited about the outcome of FINALLY having "I Feel Like Dancin'" played in clubs.

To make doubly sure, on the blessed day I sat down at my computer and checked my bank balance. Without divulging how much money was actually there, let's just say when I saw the available balance, crickets started chirping. Echoes were heard. Moths were seen packing their bags for greener pastures, leaving tracks in the accumulated dust as they made their exit. Homeless people were leaving me spare change. "Hope this helps." said one as he left a few pennies on the table shaking his head in pity.

Yes family, the cupboard was threadbare. I couldn't believe it. Much like St. Nick, I'd made the list of withdrawls and checked it twice. I was certain I had enough money to do what needed to be done. So there I am, checking the list of deposits and withdrawls once again, sweat pouring from every crevice imaginable. And as I'm checking I'm saying, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that." and "Oh that's right. I did purchase that." and "Crap." So I sat there, head in hands, thinking "Now what?"

Not for nothing, this wasn't the first thing of the day not to go particularly my way. It seemed as if the Universe was saying, "Yeah we know you're wanting to go left, but you know what? We want you to go right. But we want you to do it crawling in agony and maybe if we're feeling especially cruel we'll crack a few teeth as well." So all in all it was a no good, really bad day.

The next morning I woke up not knowing what the plans were for the day. And as I'm laying in bed playing with my cats a thought came to mind that went something like this: "Let go of expectations." "Well that's weird," I thought. "How do I let go of expectations when it's all about expectations." And it's true. No matter what business endeavor one goes into, the hoped for outcome is phenomenal success.

And that, family, is the key. There is a BIG difference between "hoping for" something and "expecting" something. There's absolutely nothing wrong with "hoping for the best". In fact, it's probably wise if one hopes for the best in all things not just business endeavors. But to "expect" something is to take faith completely out of the equation. And that's just not wise.

Bringing it back to this music project, the truth of the matter is I don't know if this CD will sell a billion copies or if I will never sell enough to make a profitable living. This is where zen comes into play. It is so important for us as artists to let go of expectations. Why? Because life throws us curve balls. Life never goes as planned. Life has its own plans and we must go along for the ride.

And that, family, is why it's all about the Zen. To be completely "in the moment" with "no expectations" we as artists must "go with the flow".

But wait a minute, Stephen! If we're just going along for the ride and being in the moment and going with the flow, how the hell are we supposed to plan anything? I mean as we all know the music business for the indie musician is 90% behind the scenes work and 10% actual performance. So if we're just "going with the flow" how the hell is anything going to get done?

Well there's nothing wrong with planning. As I've said before, the better the plan the better the execution and outcome (usually). But the difference between "expecting" it and "hoping" it (and where faith comes into play) is with expectations there is no room for faith. But with hoping, you can plan and rehearse and execute and still "go with the flow" and be "in the moment" without any expectations for outcomes.

I completely understand I'm walking a fine line here, family. But there is a freedom in letting go of expectations. Because what if what we expect never materializes? Then we are stuck with on one end the disappointment of what we expect never happening and at the opposite extreme the depression that comes from quote unquote "failure".

We should always remember that life is an adventure that should be relished in that it NEVER goes in a straight line from Point A to Point B. Living in the moment, knowing that the next moment more than likely will be nothing like this moment should give us an excitement of "Oooh! I wonder what happens next!" Rather than, "I know exactly what's happening next because it's the exact same thing that's happening right now."

And I for one, would much rather live a life in the former rather than the latter.

At least I would today. Ask me tomorrow and my response may be completely different.

Oooh! That's Zen, baby!

Peace.

-Stephen
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